Twas the Month After Christmas

Thought I share a poem from an unknown author that we can all relate to:

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!!
The cookies I'd nibbled, the egg nog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!!!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared:
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese, 
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please"
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter
Disguised as a man!!!
So...away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
I won't have a cookie-not even a lick.
I'll wantonly chew on a celery stick.
I won't have a hot biscuit, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry!!
I'm hungry, I'm lonely, and life is a bore
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good diet!!!